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Whitmer Thomas: Songs From The Golden One - VINYL LPTitle: Songs From The Golden One Artist: Whitmer Thomas Label: Hardly Art Product Type: VINYL LP UPC: 098787312218 Genre: Rock Release Date: 2020 04 03 Number of Discs: 1 Additional Details: Explicit Lyrics Vinyl LP pressing. 2020 release. When asked to describe himself, Whitmer Thomas comic, musician, skateboarder, infamous Blink182 fan will tell you, "I'm always gonna be the one whose mom called him 'the Golden One,' right before she died." This is
Title: Songs From The Golden OneArtist: Whitmer Thomas
Label: Hardly Art
Product Type: VINYL LP
UPC: 098787312218
Genre: Rock
Release Date: 2020-04-03
Number of Discs: 1
Additional Details: Explicit Lyrics
Vinyl LP pressing. 2020 release. When asked to describe himself, Whitmer Thomas-comic, musician, skateboarder, infamous Blink182 fan-will tell you, "I'm always gonna be the one whose mom called him 'the Golden One,' right before she died." This is where his debut HBO comedy special, The Golden One, finds Whitmer: age thirty, investigating this sense (curse?) of destiny-as-identity. Songs from The Golden One feature ten cuts of borderline-John Maus cosplay with spasms of pop-punk absurdity. Thomas uses the gothy, nasal vocal drone as a tool of comic detachment to cover the funny-'cause-it's-true territory of awkward sex, crippling insecurity, the shame of ambition, and the long tail of abandonment traumas. Each song is a capsule of initial therapy breakthroughs: those realization zingers where suddenly it all makes sense how each fucked variable from then makes up the weird shit of now. When you see it all for what it is, it looks like some sick, clever joke from the universe, driving you desperate to revise the comedy so that if you have to be reality's punchline, at least you can write the jokes. But in flashes of unexpected weirdo wisdom, Whitmer weaves a deeper story of a person finding reconciliation and forgiveness while finding his own self and voice. He faces his darkness with darkwave, writing the story of his objectively insane youth through a Venn diagram of cool guy music, goofy dude jokes, and sensitive boy reflections that hit in a way that feels bigger than the sum of it's parts. Whitmer will say that he made The Golden One out of desperation, but there's something about it that feels a lot more like destiny.
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4.5 ★★★★★
Based on 2240 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Easy to use and seems sturdy
Color: Aqua Blue
It’s perfect! Larger than or last one. Easy to set up. Fits in a standard table hole and base. The color is just what the dogs wanted! Everything is always so grey and dull! The turquoise really pops
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Reviewed in the United States on May 29, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Three tiered design makes it a winner
Color: Beige
This umbrella is extremely easy to setup. It is lightweight and because of the three tier design it adds beautiful features to your back yard.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2026
★★★★★ 1
No customer service for product under warranty
Color: Beige
loved this umbrella for the 4 months we used it. did a lot of research to find an umbrella that would stand up to New England "breezes" -- this one was advertised as wind resistant; bought in June 2025, seemed very sturdy, really nice-looking, used on our patio (installed in the base the recommended base) through the summer; stored indoors for the winter; brought back onto patio a couple weeks ago. On a day with average wind a couple weeks ago, the tilt mechanism broke. Umbrella did not fall over, a gust of wind just forced the tilt mechanism to snap. Spent a lot of time trying to fix it, but it's permanently broken. It's less than a year old so still under warranty, as stated in the materials they sent with the umbrella. Same materials list the email to contact if there are any problems with the product. Have emailed the company, twice now, asking for a refund or replacement. Radio silence. Don't buy this unless you're ok with throwing it away after four or five months of use and being ignored by customer service.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 29, 2026
★★★★★ 3
Third time in 10 years nerding out on an Amazon patio umbrella on a budget...
Color: Navy Blue, Color: Navy Blue
Color: Beautiful, but the fabric is thinner than other options that are only ~$10 more.
Tilt mechanism: Major reason for my 3:5 stars. It's plastic with a metal fastener through the middle. We won't be tilting this umbrella in any wind gust situations over 5mph. The warnings on the stickers and in the instructions make it clear this is a limitation, but it's not mentioned in the listing details.
Quality | Value for money: Overall very mid. This is a nice 3-tiered umbrella at a near rock-bottom budget price for that class. I have found other mystery brand umbrellas on Amazon that have lasted for 5+ years, albeit with some (in my opinion) acceptable fading and rust. This umbrella leans hard into plastic everywhere except the fasteners. The ribs and pole are almost as thin as a few layers of beer cans pressed together. At least at the 10' and up diameter, this umbrella requires you to install equally flimsy-feeling extensions in order to get to 10', full sail.
Final thoughts: This time around I chose price + delivery speed over quality, and I have a hunch I will be getting what I paid for. I doubt this umbrella lasts for more than 2 to 3 years without UV treatments and a very solid, heavy base.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Excellent Value.
Color: Forest Green, Color: Forest Green
Excellent value. Well made. Assembles in a few minutes. Note that the tilt control is the single click type. You push a button on the support column and tilt the umbrella until it picks in place. Venting design is helpful in keeping umbrella from tipping over in moderate wind. Fabric is a light synthetic. We chose green which we like.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2026